Its Christmas eve, the first Christmas I will be sharing with my own little family. One would think that this is meant to be a happy time, I on the other hand am stressed....the old adage says "when it rains, it pours" those people have never lived in my cozy little cottage....when it "rains" here it feels like a category 2 hurricane. A serious pain in the ass, but not a storm big enough for us seasoned Bermudians to run screaming like little girls.
This morning, after a blissful night with the "in-laws" I was unceremoniously woken up by my first baby...my purebred mini daschund Olivia. While we were out she had found the Terry's chocolate orange that I had carefully wrapped for my partner Christopher's Christmas stocking (this comes after she devoured the box of chocolate turtles I had bought for said stocking last week) I am fairly certain my dog has a death wish...as I stepped out of bed to see what her problem could possibly be at 2AM! my foot didn't land as I expected on beautiful bermuda wood floors, but instead found a slimy puddle of regurgitated chocolate orange chunks...Awesome. I let my darling dog out into the yard and turned on all the lights so I could find the cleaning supplies and sanitizing wipes to dispose of her chocolate hangover evidence and on my way to get said supplies I found the other "presents" my dog had left me....doggy diarrhea ALL over the living Room, dining room and bathroom that I had scrubbed clean yesterday for our family Christmas eve party tonight....Merry Christmas to me.
After cleaning up and throwing Olivia's bedding in the washer (martha stewart wannabes take note - when you have small children and or animals make sure you go to bed with an empty washing machine ) I wiped off my puke covered feet and curled back up in bed. Ah blissful sleep....Not quite.
Enter our Second baby...Pokey the cat. I guess I should elaborate on how we became parents to Pokey. Olivia was mine before I met Chris, so she was understood to be part of the package...Pokey on the other hand was like an unexpected pregnancy....1 week into dating. I was on the way to my darlings apartment for dinner when I stopped to get salad fixings. As i was turning into the market a small black fur ball darted out into the busy street and right under my moving car...Oh sweet jesus, I have just killed a kitten with my red speed wagon ...being the humane person that I am, I opened the car door to remove the possibly dead cat from underneath my racing death machine and before my foot even touched pavement, said cat jumped in the drivers side door scuttled across my lap and made herself comfortable in my previously empty passengers seat. Not wanting to hold up traffic for clearly a newly minted zombie cat, I closed the door, turned into the market and went about my shopping. After asking if anyone knew of a missing kitten in the area and getting no answers, I bought a tin of kitten food and returned to the car. When I arrived at Christopher's house with my little stowaway he was instantly smitten....She was fed, Given a name and after a serious debate about the responsibilities of cat ownership (NOT) she became "ours".
Now our lovely Kitten has grown into a wonderful cat and I can honestly say that I love her dearly...almost as much as the dog. She does however have a rather annoying habit of waking me in the winter time to snuggle under the covers....cute...but not so cute at 3 am after spending an hour cleaning up Doggie vomit....
So began our first Christmas....I guess now is the time to count my blessings. I have 3 Beautiful Children, a gorgeous home and a wonderful partner....the only wish I can think of this Christmas is that the Cat and Dog would behave wonderfully like Sophie (our unplanned little miracle who came to us 4 weeks after we found the cat...I guess the cat was the spy the stork sent to evaluate our relationship stability)
"God Bless us, every one!"
